The DBT Cheat Sheet

Wise Mind

Where logic and emotion meet.

• RRational. Ruled by thinking, facts, and logic.
• EEmotional. Ruled by feelings, urges, and bodily sensations.
• WWise. The synthesis. You know this, and you feel this, so you do this.

WHAT Skills

What you do in mindfulness practice.

• OObserve. Notice the present moment without words.
• DDescribe. Attach words to your experience. Label it.
• PParticipate. Throw yourself fully into the current moment.

HOW Skills

How you practice mindfulness.

• NJNon-Judgmental. Notice without labeling good or bad.
• OMOne-Mindful. Focus on one thing at a time.
• BEBe Effective. Focus on what works, not what feels right.

STOP

To pause before acting on impulse.

• SStop. Freeze. Do not react on impulse. Your emotions might try to make you act without thinking. Take control of your behavior.
• TTake a step back. Step away from the situation physically or mentally. Take a deep, slow breath to create space between your urge and your action.
• OObserve. Collect the facts. What is happening around you? What are you feeling inside? What are the urges you are experiencing? Avoid judging.
• PProceed mindfully. Ask your Wise Mind: 'What is the most effective thing to do right now?' Choose a response that will make things better, not worse.

TIPP

To shift your body chemistry fast.

• TTemperature change. Change your body chemistry fast by splashing ice-cold water on your face, holding an ice cube, or stepping into a cold shower. This activates the mammalian dive reflex to slow your heart rate.
• IIntense exercise. Discharge raw emotional energy. Do jumping jacks, run, pushups, or climb stairs for 10-15 minutes to burn off high-intensity adrenaline.
• PPaced breathing. Slow your breathing. Inhale deeply into your stomach for 4 seconds, hold, and exhale slowly for 6 seconds. Keep your exhales longer than inhales to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
• PPaired muscle relaxation. Tense a muscle group (like your jaw or shoulders) tightly for 5 seconds, then let go completely. Focus on the contrast between tension and relaxation as you let the stress drain.

ACCEPTS

To distract your mind from pain.

• AActivities. Engage in an absorbing activity: hobbies, cleaning, reading, or watching a favorite movie. Occupy your mind with constructive work.
• CContributing. Focus your attention outward by helping someone else. Send a supportive text, help a neighbor, or complete a kind gesture.
• CComparisons. Put your situation in perspective. Compare your current feelings to times you survived worse distress, or reflect on the struggles of others.
• EEmotions (opposite). Trigger an emotional state opposite to your current distress. Watch a comedy if you are sad, or listen to upbeat music if you feel down.
• PPushing away. Put the situation on a shelf in your mind. Box it up mentally and set it aside temporarily. You are not ignoring it; you are scheduling to solve it later.
• TThoughts. Fill your working memory. Count backward from 100 by 7, do a puzzle, memorize a poem, or list countries alphabetically.
• SSensations. Use intense physical sensations to shock your focus away from emotional pain. Hold ice, take a hot shower, or squeeze a stress ball.

IMPROVE

To make the present moment bearable.

• IImagery. Close your eyes and visualize a calm, safe place. Or picture yourself successfully coping with the crisis and looking back at it with relief.
• MMeaning. Find a sliver of purpose or learning in the pain. Remind yourself how overcoming this obstacle can build strength and resilience.
• PPrayer / Meditation. Connect to a higher power, the universe, nature, or your wise inner self. Open your heart to the present moment for strength.
• RRelaxation. Soften your body. Stretch your neck, do deep breathing, or take a warm bath. Tell your muscles to let go.
• OOne thing in the moment. Focus completely on the single task you are doing right now. Keep your mind in the immediate present, ignoring the past and future.
• VVacation. Take a brief, intentional mental break. Lie in bed for 20 minutes, turn off your phone, or step outside. Set a clear timer to return.
• EEncouragement. Speak to yourself like a loving friend. Repeat comforting phrases: 'I can survive this,' 'This feeling will pass,' or 'I am doing my best.'

ABC

Build emotional capital and mastery.

• AAccumulate positive emotions. Do pleasant things daily to build short-term positive experiences (hobbies, walks, relaxing) and work toward long-term values to create a life worth living.
• BBuild mastery. Engage in one activity every day that makes you feel competent and capable. This builds your sense of control and confidence over your life.
• CCope ahead. Identify highly challenging situations in advance and mentally rehearse your response. Rehearse exactly how you will practice skills under pressure.

PLEASE

Regulate your physical body.

• PTreat physical illness. Attend to your body. See a doctor when sick or injured, and take prescribed medications. Physical pain directly lowers emotional resilience.
• LBalanced eating. Maintain a structured diet. Do not eat too much or too little. Avoid food patterns that trigger anxiety or mood swings.
• EAvoid mood-altering substances. Limit or avoid alcohol, recreational drugs, and excess caffeine. These substances disrupt emotional baseline levels and trigger irritability.
• ABalanced sleep. Establish consistent sleep schedules. Sleep deprivation heightens emotional reactivity and vulnerability. Aim for 7-9 hours nightly.
• SGet exercise. Move your body daily. Even a 20-minute walk can release endorphins and reduce cortisol levels, helping stabilize your baseline mood.
• EBuild mastery. Reinforce physical strength and capability. Treat your body with respect and care to support your mental wellness.

VITALS

A self-compassion toolkit for intense moments.

• VValidate yourself. Acknowledge your emotions. Your feelings make complete sense given your circumstances and history. Treat your experience with validation, not criticism.
• IImagine success. Visualize yourself handling challenging moments with ease and steadiness. Rehearsing success prepares your brain for positive execution.
• TTake small steps. Break large goals or overwhelming feelings into tiny, actionable pieces. One step at a time is enough to create movement.
• AApplaud yourself. Practice self-recognition. Notice and praise yourself for your efforts and progress, no matter how small they might seem to others.
• LLighten the load. Practice self-compassion by lowering demands when you are highly distressed. Say no to non-essential obligations to conserve energy.
• SSweeten the pot. Reward yourself for trying. Add small, positive reinforcers to encourage yourself along the path of skill practice.

D.E.A.R. M.A.N.

How to ask for what you need.

• DDescribe. Describe the situation clearly and factually.
• EExpress. Express your feelings and opinions about it.
• AAssert. Ask for what you want. Say no clearly.
• RReinforce. Reward the other person ahead of time.
• MMindful. Keep your focus on your goals.
• AAppear confident. Eye contact. Voice steady. Posture upright.
• NNegotiate. Be willing to give to get.

F.A.S.T.

Keep your self-respect.

• FFair. Be fair to yourself and the other.
• AApologies. No over-apologizing. Apologize only when warranted.
• SStick to values. Don't sell out what you believe in.
• TTruthful. Don't exaggerate, lie, or act helpless.

G.I.V.E.

Keep the relationship.

• GGentle. No attacks, threats, or judging.
• IInterested. Listen and look at the other person.
• VValidate. Acknowledge their feelings and perspective.
• EEasy manner. Use humor. Smile. Be diplomatic.