Emotion Regulation skills help you reduce your overall emotional vulnerability, check the accuracy of your emotional interpretations, and decrease the suffering caused by intense emotional states.
A.B.C.
Build emotional capital and mastery
Accumulate Positive Emotions
Do pleasant things daily to build short-term positive experiences (hobbies, walks, relaxing) and work toward long-term values to create a life worth living.
Build Mastery
Engage in one activity every day that makes you feel competent and capable. This builds your sense of control and confidence over your life.
Cope Ahead of Time
Identify highly challenging situations in advance and mentally rehearse your response. Rehearse exactly how you will practice skills under pressure.
P.L.E.A.S.E.
Regulate your physical body
Treat Physical illness
Attend to your body. See a doctor when sick or injured, and take prescribed medications. Physical pain directly lowers emotional resilience.
Balanced Eating
Maintain a structured diet. Do not eat too much or too little. Avoid food patterns that trigger anxiety or mood swings.
Avoid mood-Altering substances
Limit or avoid alcohol, recreational drugs, and excess caffeine. These substances disrupt emotional baseline levels and trigger irritability.
Balanced Sleep
Establish consistent sleep schedules. Sleep deprivation heightens emotional reactivity and vulnerability. Aim for 7-9 hours nightly.
Get Exercise
Move your body daily. Even a 20-minute walk can release endorphins and reduce cortisol levels, helping stabilize your baseline mood.
Build mastery
Reinforce physical strength and capability. Treat your body with respect and care to support your mental wellness.
V.I.T.A.L.S.
A self-compassion toolkit for intense moments
Validate yourself
Acknowledge your emotions. Your feelings make complete sense given your circumstances and history. Treat your experience with validation, not criticism.
Imagine success
Visualize yourself handling challenging moments with ease and steadiness. Rehearsing success prepares your brain for positive execution.
Take small steps
Break large goals or overwhelming feelings into tiny, actionable pieces. One step at a time is enough to create movement.
Applaud yourself
Practice self-recognition. Notice and praise yourself for your efforts and progress, no matter how small they might seem to others.
Lighten the load
Practice self-compassion by lowering demands when you are highly distressed. Say no to non-essential obligations to conserve energy.
Sweeten the pot
Reward yourself for trying. Add small, positive reinforcers to encourage yourself along the path of skill practice.
Use logic when emotions fit the facts but you need to change the situation. Define the problem, generate multiple solutions, choose the most effective option, and try it.
Many emotions are triggered by interpretations rather than facts. Look at the situation objectively. Are your assumptions true? What is the actual, worst-case scenario?
When an emotion does not fit the facts or is ineffective, act completely opposite to its urge. If you feel fear when safe: approach. If you feel shame when innocent: share.
Riding the Wave
Emotions rise, peak, and fall naturally.
Emotions behave exactly like waves in the ocean: they start small, grow in intensity, peak at a crest, and then naturally wash back out and disappear.
Riding the wave means observing your emotion without pushing it away, holding onto it, or acting on it. Simply breathe, feel the physical sensations in your body, and trust that the wave will subside. It always does.
Keep breathing. Let the wave roll through you.